It's Not About Who Wins or Loses, It's All About Who Has the Best Darth Vader Mug

Hethyr:  As Jon put it in a prior post, I’ve got mad skills.  MAD skills.  Like the kind of mad skills it takes to lose a cooking competition to a competitor who didn’t actually cook anything.  These are the same kind of mad skills it takes to hit the mat out from under the ball while playing putt-putt.  There are just so few people who can actually pull off something like that!

Anyway, at the competition this past weekend, the judges' taste buds were a little too "sensitive" for my flavorful dish.  Their spokesman told me it was too sweet.  Honey can be a little overwhelming!  (Sarcasm thoroughly intended.)  If it’s too sweet for you, you’ll probably want to go and put on you big girl panties!  The other chef’s raw watermelon gazpacho was good, but a touch too bland for my wild taste buds.  Hey, what can I say?  I represent the Dark Side.  I need a little excitement in my life!

"Perhaps I can find new
ways to motivate them."

Knowing Heather's angelic ways, I figured she would make something ultra-healthy with vegetables and/or fruit.  I did want to include some produce, but I wanted to show that there are other great foods available at the farmers’ market as well.  We were allowed a few additional items other that what we purchased at the market and I chose raw cream, homemade butter and a couple of spices.  I skimmed the cream off of our raw milk and I made the butter from some of the cream.  We pick our milk up from the Wednesday farmers’ market, so I figured it was the next best thing to actually purchasing it at the market where the "cook-off" was held.

The competition started, yada, yada, yada...  

Chopping peaches

The He*th*rs in action

There was quite the crowd
at the market that day!

Plating my creation

Handing over my masterpiece for judgement

...she won.

After the judges tasted my creation and moved onto Heather’s, the crowd became a flock of vultures, devouring what was left, so at least I know their taste buds were working!  

The vultures moving in

Teresa Farney from the Gazette asks
questions as we clean up our messes

Without further ado, here is the recipe for my not-so-award-winning…

Cardamom French Toast with Lavender-Peach Honey

Serves 4

Photo by Kathya Ethington

• 2 large ripe peaches, pitted
• 1 cup raw unfiltered honey, local if possible
• 1 1/2 teaspoons dried lavender
• 4 large farm-fresh eggs
• 1/4 cup cream, raw if possible *
• 1/2 to 1 teaspoon ground cardamom
• 8 to 12 slices of sturdy bread (I used ciabatta), cut 3/4-inch thick
• 2 tablespoons butter plus additional for buttering toast (homemade is best but not required)
• Whipped cream, homemade from raw cream if possible *

* Note:  Raw milk is not legal in all states... don't even get me started.

1.  Cut one peach into large chunks and thinly slice the other; set aside the slices.

2.  Purée the peach chunks in a food processor and combine with the honey and lavender in a medium saucepan.  Place over medium-low to medium heat and simmer while preparing the toast.

3.  Combine the eggs, cream and cardamom in a flat shallow dish and whisk until well mixed.

4.  Working in batches if necessary, melt butter in a large skillet over medium heat.  Dip bread slices into egg mixture and coat well on both sides.  Place into the skillet and cook until first side is golden-brown.

5.  While toast is cooking, strain the honey mixture through a fine mesh sieve into a medium bowl.  Discard the remaining solids, add reserved peach slices to the honey and stir to coat.

6.  Flip bread and cook until second side is golden brown.  Remove from skillet and plate.

7.  Butter French toast slices, then top with honey and peaches.  Finish with a dollop of whipped cream.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jon:  Ahhhhh, big fat pieces of French toast with a peachy topping and fresh whipped cream on a cool September morning at the farmer’s market.  What could be more satisfying?  For the audience of the chef challenge, apparently nothing.  You should have seen the crowd swarm like vultures on those breakfast plates.  The toast never stood a chance.

The best thing about this whole deal for me was the practice round.  A few days before the contest, Hethyr tried out the recipe on me.  As I stuffed my gullet with a mountain of French toast with that luscious peach sauce, I knew that it was a recipe that would beat the crap out of anything the opponent was making.  And it sure did.  This stuff was amazing, and even more incredible that it was made with fresh, local ingredients.

So don’t worry, it always appears at first as if the Dark Side has been defeated… but I think we’ve all seen enough Star Wars movies and Futurama episodes to know better.  The mug knows best…

Dueling Chef Challenge and Local Food Week

It's Local Food Week from September 17th through September 25th and I'm helping to kick off events by participating in a farmers' market shopping and cooking challenge this coming Saturday (9/17/11) beginning at 9:30am at the Colorado Farm and Art Market which takes place at The Margarita at Pine Creek.  I'll be taking on Chef Heather from Change Personal Chef Service...  Hethyr vs. Heather!  Jon and I get a kick out of this for several reasons.  The similarities/differences don't end with our profession and names.  We're both pretty tiny and around the same age.  I have dark curly hair and she has blond curly hair.  I have a black chef coat, she has a white chef coat.  Sort of reminds me of the concept of yin yang.  Or the movie Black Swan...  MWAHAHAHA!  ;)

Chef Hethyr Pletsch of
Everyday Gourmet Colorado

Chef Heather Mitchell of
Change Personal Chef Service

VS.

I'm sure we'd both appreciate all of the support we can get, but since you're a reader of my blog, please come out and cheer on the Dark Side!!!


What:  Dueling Chef Challenge with Chef Hethyr of Everyday Gourmet Colorado and Chef Heather of Change Personal Chef Service
When:  Saturday, September 17th at 9:30am
Where:  Colorado Farm and Art Market at The Margarita at Pine Creek, 7350 Pine Creek Rd., Colorado Springs (map)


And don't forget to check out the other Local Food Week events taking place in Colorado Springs!

Local Food Week Events Calendar

Hanging in Boulder, Another Year Older

Hethyr:  If you’ve read the last couple of posts, you’ll know that I’m currently on an elimination diet to heal my gut.  I had another appointment with Dr. Restricto last week and was told that I need to be on this diet for at least another month and then we’ll reassess to see if I’m ready to add certain foods back.  I was pretty bummed to hear that but I know it’s all for a good reason and if it makes me feel better in the long run, then it’s worth it.  HOWEVER, I have a birthday coming up this week…  How old am I going to be, you ask?  Don’t you know it’s not polite to ask a lady (or young girl, in my case) her age?  As some country song by someone I’ve never heard of says “I’m old enough to know better but I’m still too young to care.”

Since my birthday is right around Labor Day (and sometimes actually falls on Labor Day), I often get the three day weekend to celebrate.  This year, Jon has a school function on my actual birthday, so we decided to celebrate early this weekend.  I made sure to ask Dr. Restricto if I could do a little cheating and she said “Yes!  Eat whatever you want – it’s your birthday.”  I knew that I didn’t want to go completely overboard or I’d feel like crap, but there are a couple of things that I’ve been missing terribly.  So…

I decided on my perfect day.  We got up without an alarm, I did yoga and then we headed up to Boulder to hang out for the day.  We started with a trip to the famous Saturday farmers’ market.

It's the biggest one I've ever seen!

I was pretty much set on a good loaf of bread, some kind of savory jam or spread (we ended up with two different types of olive tapenade), some good cheese and some heirloom tomatoes for lunch, so we set out with intention.  We found everything we needed and some extra items for good measure.  We brought home some extra cheese, sweet corn and olive tapenade.

Searching for the perfect
organic produce

Where we eventually bought
our tomatoes

A plethora of pretty, pretty produce

With our market booty, we headed to Boulder Creek for a picnic.  We found a nice little spot by the creek’s edge and laid out our feast.  The weather could not have been more perfect – mid-70s and sunny with a tiny bit of a breeze.  Some people were floating down the crystal clear creek in tubes, some were wading around and many (like us) were just lazing near the water’s edge soaking up rays and enjoying the beautiful day.

Boulder Creek on a perfect day

Crusty bread with Camembert, olive and red pepper
tapenade and a gorgeous heirloom tomato

Me with my mouth full

The ducks wanted in on the feast

Drinking wine out of plastic cups
by Boulder Creek - that's class.

After lunch, we headed to Pearl Street for a little vintage shopping before dinner.  Although the vintage shops seem to carry mostly 80s clothing and nothing we were really into (are we seriously THAT old?!?!), we had fun poking around and laughing at some of the tackier items.

At around 5pm, we walked to the restaurant where we wanted to have dinner to check it out and see if we could get reservations (we were told on the phone that they only took reservations for parties of six or more).  Apparently, they do take reservations but they were full for the whole night.  The hostess said for the best chance of getting a table, we should probably come back in about 20 minutes - yep, 5:20pm.  Well, we really, really wanted to eat at Salt the Bistro so we made a quick trip to one more vintage store and then headed back.  We were able to get a table outside and decided to have a drink before ordering anything so we might be a little hungrier when we actually made our order.  Jon had one of our favorite local milk stouts from Left Hand Brewing Company and I had a local gluten-free beer from New Planet.  See?  I tried to be a little bit good.

Finally we decided on an appetizer of crusty bread topped with shiitake and matsutake mushrooms from local Hazel Dell Mushrooms and some kind of buttery white sauce, drizzled with truffle oil.  Of course we never remember to take pictures before digging in, so you’ll probably notice some bites missing…

We knew we wanted to order dessert, so decided against salad/soup and first course and went straight for the entrées.  Jon had a beautiful salmon dish and I opted for the local grilled pork chop with crispy polenta, local green beans and a grilled Colorado peach.  The pork chop was one of the tastiest I’ve ever eaten in my life (it was brined before cooking) and unlike most gourmet restaurants, the portion was so large that I brought home half for lunch today.  Amazingly, this is the dish that I really wanted above anything else on the menu and everything was within my dietary guidelines.  See?  I was good without intention, even!

But then there was dessert.  >=)  Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Cake.  Oh yeah.  The description per Salt’s website is “black onyx chocolate cake with hazelnut butter & housemade Earl Grey ice cream.”  It was devilishly good.

Half-eaten Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Cake

On the way home, Jon and I laughed about how much my idea of a perfect day has changed in the 14 years we’ve been together and about the fact that we’d probably end up in bed by 10pm.  Here’s to getting old!  And here’s my recipe for my perfect birthday…

Perfect Birthday

1 hour of yoga

1 cup of coffee for hubby and 1 cup of tea for wifey

1 hour at the enormous and awesome Boulder farmers’ market resulting in:

1 good loaf of crusty bread from local Udi’s bakery

1 wheel of Camembert cheese from local MouCo Cheese Company

1 jar of olive tapenade and 1 jar of olive and red pepper tapenade from

local Loredana’s Pesto

2 ripe organic heirloom tomatoes from local Cure Organic Farm

2 ripe organic peaches for dessert from western slope Ela Family Farms

6 ears of organic peaches & cream sweet corn to take home

1 wedge of raw milk cheddar-style cheese and 1 wedge of Buckhorn cheese

            from local Windsor Dairy

2 hours of lounging by Boulder Creek eating lunch and drinking wine

2 hours of vintage shopping and people-watching on Pearl Street

3 hours of fabulousness at Salt the Bistro for dinner and drinks

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jon:  Boulder is such an amazing place.  It’s one of those distinctive, uncommon towns where you can have a profoundly entertaining day doing nothing more than walking, sitting and eating.  The creekside picnic with fresh, local bread, cheese, fruits and veggies—and red wine to wash it down—was about as fun and relaxing as it gets.

But the thing that makes Boulder Boulder is the people.  Sure, there are thousands of college kids with every kind of style (and lack of style) imaginable.  But the locals provide the truest entertainment.  Whether it’s the dreadlocked African-mask wearing drummer, or the fire juggling clown, or the mysterious guy who walks around town in extremely slow motion, you don’t need to look any further than the streets and sidewalks for amusement.  My favorite peculiarity of the day came in front of a music stage where a roller-skating dancer was putting on a performance that would almost certainly make a Las Vegas showgirl blush.

Although there were only eight entrées on the menu at Salt, after thirty minutes I had managed to merely whittle my choices down to six.  I decided that I would revert to the “panic order” decision that comes when the server is standing and waiting with pen and paper in hand.  Since she had proven to be friendly and helpful, I went ahead and asked our waitress for her input on my dilemma.  As she was describing all the potential pros and cons of each option, Hethyr brought up the very astute point that perhaps I should stay away from the Pan Roasted Wild Alaskan Salmon because it was not caught locally.  The server mentioned that it wasn’t all that far away—it was just from up there in Alaska.  I bit my tongue and refrained from pointing out that Alaska was actually 3000 miles away from our current location.  I suppose that both Alaska and Colorado are mountainous, snowy, and a part of North America, so I could see where Sarah Palin one could get confused.  Anyway, the point of the story is that I ordered the salmon.

I can see Alaska from here!

Sorry fellow foodies, I promise I’ll eat an extra Colorado peach today as my penance.  Don’t forget to wish Hethyr a happy birthday on the 7^th!

Take Another Little Peach of my Heart

Hethyr:  What child didn’t, at one time or another, read a book by Roald Dahl?  Remember Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?  Two others that were favorites when I was a kid were Matilda and The Witches.  And who could forget about James and the Giant Peach?  Although it has been a number of years (to say the least) since I have read it, I remember that James finds a tunnel leading into the peach, where he meets a bunch of insects who befriend him and they take him on a magical journey.  Even as an adult, I’d like to climb inside of a giant peach and go on cool adventures… although I could do without the bugs.

Well, if there was ever a chance of something like that happening, it would most likely happen around this time of year in Colorado.  Peaches, peaches, everywhere.  It’s awesome.

Peaches don’t last very long at all in our house, so it’s a wonder that I actually did something with a peach other than eating it straight.  We had this amazing swordfish steak (MSC certified, of course) the other night and I was having trouble coming up with a way to serve it.  Jon wanted to grill it, which was perfectly fine with me, but it needed some pizazz.  Did I seriously just use the word pizazz?  What the hell is wrong with me?  Must be lack of dairy, sugar and, as my cousin just mentioned, Nutella.  Anyway, I decided to make a peach Pico de Gallo since we had a few peaches on hand.

No large resorts (or other people!) on this beach

I’ve always been a fan of fruit with seafood, so it seemed like a perfect fit.  However, before I give you the recipe for the Pico de Gallo, I'm reminded of another fruit/seafood story…

When we were in Costa Rica a few years ago, we decided that we’d spend our last week there in Puerto Viejo, a tiny beach town on the Caribbean coast near the Panama border.  There are no large hotels or resorts in this town.  It’s one of the few places that had not yet been subjected to globalization.  The first day when we arrived, a woman who worked at the small hotel where we stayed asked if she could catch a ride into town with us.  We were a few miles outside of the town proper and she didn’t have a car, so we were happy to take her with us since we needed to get some food anyway. 

The restaurant where we had
lunch on our first day
in Puerto Viejo

When we got to town, we went our separate ways, but we ended up seeing her again as we were having lunch at a bar table facing the ocean.  She was in an animated conversation with a local fisherman who was trying to sell her live lobsters and she was upset because he wouldn’t sell her just one - she had to buy two or he wouldn’t sell her any at all.  She obviously didn’t need both, so we chimed in to see if we could help by offering to go in on the lobsters with her.  She loved the idea and even suggested that we have dinner together at the hotel.  I offered to make a pineapple-mango Pico de Gallo to go with it if I could borrow a cutting board and knife once we got back.  We all agreed on the plan and went our separate ways again as she was going to catch a ride back on a friend’s bicycle.  Since she didn’t want to take the lobsters back on the bike, she asked if we’d take them back in the car.  We said sure.  Little did we know that the lobsters had been on ice and were lethargic when we got them.  No wonder she wanted us to take them.

I could have been eaten alive by this thing

When we got back in the car, I set the bag containing the crustaceans on the floor by my feet without really thinking about it.  As we were riding along and talking, one of the little buggers decided to make a sudden huge leap.  Thanks goodness he didn’t decide to latch onto my leg with his giant claws.  I completely freaked out and jumped a mile in the air, landing back in my seat, feet and all.  For the rest of the ride, I would not put my feet back on the floor or take my eyes off of those sketchy little f@#$ers.  Jon laughed so hard, he nearly peed himself.

So, although that had nothing to do with peaches, I thought you’d get a small chuckle out of it.  And now that I made you suffer through that stupid story that didn’t have a point, I’ll be nice by giving you the recipe for the pineapple-mango Pico de Gallo as well.

Peach (or Nectarine) Pico de Gallo

Makes about 1 cup

• 1 large peach (or nectarine), pitted and diced
• 1 large shallot, minced
• 1 medium jalapeño, seeded, ribbed and minced (a lot of the heat lies in the ribs and seeds, so keep ‘em if you want it super-spicy)
• 1-inch gingerroot piece, peeled and minced
• 1 tablespoon fresh cilantro, chopped
• 1/2 tablespoon lime juice
• Salt and pepper, to taste

1.  In a medium bowl, mix together all ingredients. 

2.  Refrigerate for a couple of hours, if desired, to allow flavors to meld.  Serve over chicken, pork, seafood, with tortilla chips, as a topping for tacos, etc.

Pineapple-Mango Pico de Gallo

Makes about 3 cups

• 1 cup pineapple, diced (fresh or canned… if canned, drain first) 
• 1 mango, peeled, pitted and diced
• 1/2 medium red bell pepper
• 1/2 medium green bell pepper
• 1/2 medium red onion, diced
• 1 teaspoon garlic, finely minced or turned into garlic paste
• 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
• 1 large jalapeño, seed, ribbed and minced
• Salt and pepper

1.  In a medium bowl, mix together all ingredients.

2.  Refrigerate for a couple of hours, if desired, to allow flavors to meld.  Serve over chicken, pork, seafood, with tortilla chips, as a topping for tacos, etc.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jon:  Reading about the days in Costa Rica definitely puts me in a nostalgic mood.  There was nothing quite as calming and purifying to the soul as opening the front doors of Casa Mariposa, feeling the cool, humid, jungle air, looking out over the lush green vegetation toward the blue waters of Lago Arenal or toward the smoky, ash-filled burps of Volcán Arenal, relaxing in a rocking chair, sipping a dark-roasted local Costa Rican coffee… and making a daily to-do list that included feeding and watering the dog, cats, and goats, picking the cabbage or whatever other vegetables were ready, trading the cabbage with the neighbors for eggs, milk, or chocolate, and usually some random project like figuring out a way to displace the hundreds of black wasps that had taken up residence in the rancho.  Ah, those were the days.

It was actually during our time at Casa Mariposa that we learned a lot about self-sufficiency.  I guess that is bound to happen when you live a couple miles outside of a tiny little town with nothing but an ATV to ride.  That was also our initial introduction to composting, which we now do at our own house to a ridiculous degree.  Even our dog, Garr, seemed to enjoy his time en la jungla, as he had the mother of all bug buffets on which to feast.  It was more than a little unnerving to us that some of the bugs were big and mean enough to fight back, but Garr had no such fear.

So I hope you’re somewhere in the world where you can find some fresh peaches or pineapples to make some of Hethyr’s pico de gallo.  And in case any of you ever wondered how a pineapple grows, below is a video I took several years ago at Casa Mariposa (yep, there was a pineapple garden, too).  I’ll also put a video clip of the regular garden below that.  And if you really want to stalk us, check out our blog from when Hethyr, Garr, and I were temporary Ticos…

Link to our Costa Rica Blog

I'm Cocoa for Coconuts!

I think this artwork was made specifically for me!

Hethyr:  I have been a royal bitch for the last couple weeks and I’m fully willing to admit it.  For the past several years, I’ve had some health issues and until a couple of weeks ago, no one seemed to be able to figure out what is wrong with me.  I’ve been through testing for autoimmune diseases such as lupus and rheumatoid arthritis to no avail.  One doctor a few years back actually told me that I was crazy and gave me a prescription for a sleeping pill.  I left her office bawling my eyes out.  After another negative test with another new doctor (this one for Celiac disease), I finally decided to say “Screw you!” to the regular doctors and see if a naturopath might be able to help me.

After visiting with Jon and me for over an hour, Dr. Restricto told me that she definitely thinks my issues are food related and drew blood for a test that tested for 96 different food allergies.  Looking back, I should have enjoyed the waiting time a little bit more than I did because three weeks later the results were back and I was told that my digestive immune system was pretty much non-existent and that I am currently sensitive/allergic to everything but the kitchen sink.  She put me on an elimination diet for a month and at the end of that month, I’ll start adding foods back into my diet one at a time to test for reactions.

My new diet

In the meantime, I have realized just how much I love good food and just how much I despise not being able to eat the things I love.  For the elimination diet, I am not allowed to have dairy, wheat (or other gluten-containing foods), cane sugar, bakers’ or brewers’ yeast, chocolate (because of the dairy and sugar), rice, quinoa, cranberries, kidney beans and black beans.  So what the hell does that leave?  Pretty much meat, vegetables, fruits and nuts.  Woo freakin’ hoo.

A trip back home to Springfield, IL last week left much to be desired in the way of good food that I could actually eat.  Thank goodness I’m a chef and for American Harvest Eatery, a new restaurant that sources fresh ingredients from local farmers.  I tried to prepare as much of my own food as possible for the trip, but let me tell you how boring tuna salad on sliced cucumbers gets after eating it for a week straight.  :/  Meh.

I'm cuckoo for coconuts!

Enter the amazing coconut.  The health benefits of coconuts are extensive, so instead of reinventing the wheel, I’ll just give you this link and you can check it out for yourself.  After two weeks of whining and complaining, I’m finally starting to figure this out.  Since I can’t have any dairy (including goats’ milk), I’d picked up a carton of coconut milk prior to leaving for Springfield so I could have it instead of my beloved raw cows’ milk.  I ate it with sliced bananas and macadamia nuts for breakfast and drank it straight when I was craving milk.  Don’t get me wrong – this is not a perfect replacement for cows’ milk but beggars can’t be choosers, right?  Unfortunately, this coconut milk costs about $4.99 for one half-gallon.  Wow.  Funny how cutting certain foods out of your diet can lead to a higher grocery bill!  Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Thanks to Leslie at Crunchy Betty, I learned that making my own coconut milk is only a fraction of the cost.  Awesome!  And you know how much I love to make my own things from scratch.  Also, her super-cool, informative site clued me in to the wonders of coconut butter (I’d never even heard of such a thing) so I made some of that.  So!  Incredibly!  Amazing!  Not sure I’ll use peanut or other nut butters very often anymore unless I really need some extra protein.  Then I started to get creative on my own…

"Necessity, who is the mother
of invention."  ~Plato

I mentioned that I’m not allowed to have dairy, cane sugar or chocolate and personally, I think that is enough to drive anyone to bitchiness.  However, I was so giddy when I figured out a loophole that I could hardly stand it.  I was in the kitchen making my coconut milk and coconut butter when I started wondering if it would be possible to make “ice cream” using only coconut milk, honey and homemade vanilla extract (vanilla bean soaked in potato vodka).  If you don’t know how much I love ice cream by now, I’m pretty sure this is your first time reading our blog.  And after two weeks of deprivation, I was ready to give my left arm for a bowl of ice cream.  Luckily that didn’t have to happen.  I pulled out my trusty ice cream maker, mixed the ingredients and in about 30 minutes, I had a fairly acceptable substitute for dairy-based ice cream. 

Then I started wondering about the chocolate stipulation.  I looked back at the chart of what I was sensitive to and cocoa bean was not one of the culprits.  The doc told me I couldn’t have chocolate because milk and sugar are usually ingredients.  It just so happens that I’ve got two pounds of organic, fair-trade Dutch cocoa powder in the pantry and it DOESN’T include dairy or sugar.Ha ha, Dr. Restricto – I found a loophole!  So now I can have chocolate “ice cream” and it fits completely within my restrictive diet guidelines.  Maybe this isn’t so bad after all.  Next I plan on making chocolate-banana.  Oh yeah.

Coconut milk on ice - so refreshing!

Coconut Milk

Makes about 4 cups

- 1/2 to 1 cup dried, unsweetened shredded coconut

- 4 cups hot water (not quite boiling)

1.  Place coconut and 1 cup of hot water in the food processor.

2.  Pulse for about 30 seconds.  Let sit for about a minute, then pulse about 10 more times.

3.  Strain through a fine mesh sieve (lined with cheesecloth or not) into a large bowl.  Press against the solids with a wooden spoon to extract as much liquid as possible.

4.  Repeat steps 1 through 3, reusing the same coconut and the additional water.

5.  Cool, pour into a quart-size jar and refrigerate.

Notes:  If you choose to use the cheesecloth when straining, the natural oils will be soaked up by the cloth.  If you choose to just use the sieve, you’ll end up with a bit of coconut oil at the top of your jar of coconut milk after you refrigerate it.  Although I haven’t used it yet, I saved the coconut oil to use as I would store-bought.  Crunchy Betty also says you can put it on your legs to make ‘em silky smooth.  You can dehydrate the leftover pulp and use like you would any dessicated coconut.  No waste!

Delicious breakfast - banana with
coconut butter
and toasted coconut

Coconut Butter

Yield varies

- Dried, unsweetened shredded coconut (I used about 2 cups to yield about 3/4 cup coconut butter)

1.  Place coconut in food processor and process on high for about 15 minutes.  You may need to scrape down the sides occasionally.

2.  Store in a jar at room temperature.  Due to the stability of the healthy fatty acids, refrigeration is not necessary, even after opening.

Dessert - chocolate coconut milk "ice cream"
topped with coconut butter and macadamia nuts

Chocolate Coconut Milk “Ice Cream”

Makes 1 1/2 quarts

- 3 cups coconut milk (homemade – see recipe above – or store-bought)

- 1/2 cup honey

- 2 tablespoons vanilla extract

- 2/3 cup Dutch cocoa powder

1.  In a large bowl, combine all ingredients with a hand mixer or stick (immersion) blender until smooth.

2.  Pour into ice cream maker freezer bowl and follow instructions for your maker.  With mine, it usually takes about 25-30 minutes.  Once finished, “ripen” in the freezer for a couple of hours before devouring like you’ve never eaten ice cream before.

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Jon:  As many of you already know, I usually hang out down here at the end of the blog.  I consider myself a bottom-feeder of sorts… the flounder resting on the deep dark floor of the Blog Sea.  Up above in the clear blue waters of the respectable part of the blog, Hethyr talks about all sorts of interesting and relevant topics, provides helpful information and advice, and offers delicious recipes for all sorts of incredible edibles.  As my nephew J.D. would say, her part of the blog is totally classy.  Meanwhile, I lurk down in the mud making smart-ass comments and rambling on about 80’s game shows, bee beards, poultry proctology, dirty hippies, cantaloupe breasts, parachute pants, muffin tops… I’m pretty sure there was even a sexually explicit haiku about mushrooms at some point.  The list certainly is long and undistinguished.

While I pride myself on my ability to give my beautiful wife epic amounts of childish sarcasm on a daily basis, I feel an overwhelming need to reverse course in this post and talk about what a bad-ass she is in the kitchen.  If someone told me I had to give up dairy, sugar and wheat, you’d find me huddled in the corner of the bathroom in the fetal position crying like a hungry baby.  Hethyr, on the other hand, has used her skillful creativity to find amazing detours around these dietary roadblocks.  The deliciousness of our meals has not diminished one bit despite the fact that she is unable to consume the majority of the items in our kitchen and pantry.  I’d throw her in the ring against any of those millionaire television chefs and totally bet on her.  Who could possibly find a way to make and eat chocolate ice cream after being told that she couldn’t have dairy or sugar?  Seriously?  There are only two words to describe that…

Mad Skills.