Tuesday, February 19, 2013

We Go Together Like Chinese Food & Chocolate Pudding!

Hethyr:  Jon and I sort of have our own little language.  There are probably a few other nerds (or cable-less folks) out there who would understand it, but most people would think we're nuts if they heard us talking to each other much of the time.  Several years ago - for many reasons - we decided to get rid of cable television.  While less TV proved to be awesome, the silence in the house while either of us was home alone proved to be not so great sometimes, so we got in the habit of having a movie on in the background for noise.  We only own so many DVDs and for a long time, we didn't have a way of watching streamed movies on anything other than one of our laptops.  So, we got to know a select number of scripts INCREDIBLY WELL.  Now we speak movie to each other most of the time.  Lame?  Maybe.  But it would be REALLY lame if only one of us did it.  At least we're both dorks, I guess.

With that being said, I saw this card while looking for something for Valentine's Day for him...

Not the greatest card in the world to the untrained eye/ear, I realize.  But it immediately made me think of a few lines from Talladega Nights, an Adam McKay/Will Ferrell/John C. Reilly gem, which is in our very regular (embarrassingly so) movie repertoire.  Okay, okay, we like really stupid humor - I admit it!  So, I added a few choice words and made the card "my own"...

After getting sick with a fever and cough earlier this week, I wasn't up for dinner out on Valentine's Day (not that we would have ever thought to make reservations early enough anyway!), so I decided that as a treat for Jon (and, of course, for myself!), I'd make some gluten-, dairy-, and refined sugar-free pudding.  I found a couple of good recipes here and here at the Gluten Free Fix blog.  Only after deciding to make these did I realize the chocolate pudding reference in my card, so it was only fitting that I should make Chinese-ish food to go with it.  In the morning, I gave Jon the card (which he loved, of course!) and later, I sent him a text to let him know that we were, in fact, having Chinese food and chocolate pudding for dinner and dessert.  He responded by asking if he should bring home some peanut butter and ladies... or cocaine and waffles.  Oh, my!

Anyway, I do realize that our last post was a recipe for a noodle bowl, but this one is quite different, fairly easy, and every bit as delicious.
  I hope you enjoy it, too!

Now You See Me, Now You Don't Chinese Bowlful o' Love (Gluten- and Dairy-Free)

Serves 2 (plus 2 servings of leftovers of the shrimp and veggies for lunch the next day so sick wifey doesn't have to cook!)

1-inch knob of ginger, peeled and minced
2 green onions, sliced
2 large garlic cloves, peeled and minced
1 small to medium head of broccoli, cut into florets
1 small yellow bell pepper, seeded, ribbed and sliced
2 large carrots, sliced
1 small bunch of bok choy, chopped
2 cups sugar snap peas or snow peas
1 pound shrimp, peeled, deveined, and cut into bite-size pieces
3 tablespoons tamari (gluten-free soy sauce)
3 tablespoons honey
3 tablespoons sweet chili sauce (I realize this isn't refined-sugar free but on a rare occasion, I've got to splurge a wee bit)
1 tablespoon oil
1 teaspoon sesame oil
4 ounces brown rice Pad Thai noodles

1.  Prep all vegetables (ginger through peas) and shrimp.

2.  In a small bowl, stir together soy sauce, honey and sweet chili sauce; set aside.

3.  Cook rice noodles according to package directions; portion into bowls and keep warm, reserving a little of the cooking water.

4.  In a large skillet or wok, heat oil and sesame oil over medium-high to high heat.  Add ginger, green onions and garlic and stir-fry for approximately 30 seconds or until fragrant - be careful not to burn.

5.  Add veggies to skillet and stir-fry for 2-3 minutes.  Add shrimp and stir-fry for another 2-3 minutes or until shrimp is just cooked through and veggies are cooked but still crisp.  Remove from skillet and toss with sauce.

6.  To each noodle bowl, add plenty of veggies, shrimp, sauce, and a little bit of cooking water to reach your desired consistency of soupiness.  Add chopsticks to make it more Chinese and serve with chocolate pudding for dessert!  :)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jon:  Hethyr, can I please have your attention.  I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story.  I need you to stop what you're doing and listen...

I wanna say something.  I'm gonna put it out there.  If you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back.  I want to be on you.  You have an absolutely breath-taking... heiney.  I mean, that thing's good.  I wanna be friends with it.  Mmmm.  That sounds good. I'll have that.

You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.  We are like friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.  I would follow you into the mists of Avalon, if that's what you mean.  No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.

Really, if we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I'd go as Robin. That's how much you mean to me.  And we will dance till the sun rises.  And then our children will form a family band.  And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited.

Little ham 'n eggs comin' at ya.  What do you say we go out on a date?  Have some chicken, maybe some sex... you know, see what happens.  Me without you is Rice without Montana. Ali without Frasier.  Han Solo without Chewbacca.

Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?  We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.

Great Odin's raven!  Holy Santa Claus shit!  Mind-bottling, isn't it?  You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?  I'm in a glass case of emotion.  It's more that comfortability.  I fuckin' love you.  And you got those.  I like those on a woman.

I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful.  Let's capture the dream.


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